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It’s common for toxic exes to reappear into our lives and ask for another shot at a relationship. It’s possible to change abusive tendencies, but experts in narcissism warn they may be lying to you. “Hoovering” is the dating trend of sucking someone back into an unhealthy relationship through manipulation.
“If you take me back, I promise I’ll change.”
Often times, toxic exes will try to re-enter our lives under the guise of change: They’ll say they’ve grown into a more loving partner and even offer up tempting gifts. But do they mean it?
Though some couples can reconcile in a healthy way, experts warn about a common tactic used by narcissistic and abusive partners: “hoovering.” Named after avacuum, it involves sucking someone back into a toxic or emotionally abusive relationship through manipulation and lies.
“Narcissists will hoover during different stages of the relationship. It’s a type of emotional blackmail,” says Manjit Ruprai, a narcissistic abuse recovery therapist. “You’ll initially get trapped into a cycle of love-bombing, meaning they’ll be
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