Co-Parenting & Communicating with an Abuser

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The BIFF Response method will help you respond to hostile emails, texts and other communications and make you feel good doing it!  Most people have a hard time responding to personal attacks in emails, texts and other communication because it puts them in react mode instead of respond mode. The most important thing to remember is: it’s not about you!    

BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm and can be used by anyone, in any situation but it does take practice. Learn how to write (or speak) using the BIFF Response method to help bring an angry exchange to a quick conclusion, without losing it yourself. 

Grey rocking is a technique used to divert a toxic person's behavior by acting as unresponsive as possible when you're interacting with them. For example, using the grey rock method involves deliberate actions like avoiding eye contact or not showing emotions during a conversation. By making yourself and your interactions with them as neutral as possible, they’ll eventually lose interest or reduce their interest.  I recommend still using friendly language (which some experts refer to as "yellow rocking"). If you are experiencing physical abuse, this is not an appropriate method to use. Grey rock doesn't fair well in family court.  Use with caution.